Mishaps of the Culinary Variety
by Blue Obsidian Butterfly
Summary: After ingesting copious amounts of junk food during a case Scully is on a self imposed diet. What does Mulder think of this new development?


**Disclaimer: Nope not mine. It would take an X-file to make that happen.**

**A/N: Hi. I know I am extremely late to the party and I don't know if anyone besides me still reads these but I just started watching the show a year ago (I'm 17) and somehow this happened. Hopefully someone out there will enjoy it :)**

"Salad Again?" Scully looked up from the paperwork she had been reviewing while she ate her lunch to find Mulder leaning against the office doorframe.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing it's just this is the third day now, aren't you getting sick of it?" he peered over her shoulder at the salad bowl and shuddered before retreating to his desk as if he expected it to suddenly become radioactive (it wouldn't be the strangest thing she had ever seen).

"It's good for you" she replied, taking a large bite to emphasise her point. She had to admit it was a little bland but at least she didn't have to work it off.

"Well while you continue to munch on that like a rabbit and grow whiskers I..." he paused and she rolled her eyes as he dramatically produced a brown take out bag she hadn't noticed before from beneath his desk. "Enjoy my lunch" he reached in and pulled out something wrapped in white paper.

Even from where she was sitting she could smell the greasy junk food and it made her a little nauseous especially considering their last case wherein Mulder dragged her into middle-of-nowhere America to a town where they apparently didn't know how to cook, instead deep frying everything-literally everything, chasing a 'Coyote shifter'. (There had been a series of murders where an animal had attacked and eaten it's victims inside their locked homes, neighbours reporting growling sounds corresponding with the attacks and supposedly there was a local legend about a man who was part beast.) Long story short there was something-though she couldn't determine its exact nature that may or may not have gotten away, depending on where Mulder's shots had hit (though they couldn't find where it had disappeared to.)

"Do you have any idea how many calories are in that?" Her tone was shocked and a bit scolding but the agent in question merely gave her a wide smile, taking a big bite of the burger before replying, with his mouth full of course "Mmmm, calories."

"984"

"Excuse me?"

"Calories" he looked from the burger to her and back to the burger again. She gave him a knowing look before she strode out, taking her salad and the case file with her. Of course she didn't know exactly how many calories where in it, she required a complete list of ingredients to know that but it was in the ballpark, and besides Mulder didn't need to know. If she had to stay in the room with that small any longer she was going to lose her appetite.

It was ten minutes before Mulder found her outside sitting on a bench shaded by a tree, the empty salad bowl discarded beside her as she intently read something in the file.

"Hey" he said and she looked up, acknowledging his presence.

"Sorry if I upset you earlier" he looked sincere and she gave him a gentle smile.

"No no it's fine Mulder, it was just a joke" he was studying her with the same intensity he brought to a case and normally she would find the attention flattering but there was something about it that she couldn't quite put her finger on that was making her uncomfortable.

"Wait, you're not on a diet are you?" she blushed and his smile widened.

"What's so bad about wanting to be healthy?"

"Nothing it's just that...you're the last person I expected to care about her weight"

"I don't, as long as it's within average range but after that last case..." she made a vague gesture and he tilted his head to the side confused.

"The bodies put you off?" he could be so dense sometimes, she wondered if he even noticed all the fried food they had eaten.

"The food" she explained and it took him a moment to catch on but once he did a look of understanding filled his eyes.

"So a diet huh?"

"Yep" he sat down next to her, bumping his shoulder against hers.

"Good for you"

"You know you could always join me" he sent her a shocked look and she rolled her eyes.

"And eat salad all day, no thank-you"

"It won't kill you"

"Don't be so sure"


End file.
